Category: Authenticity and Spirituality
Love Liberates
August 12, 2014
School starts tomorrow. It can be such an exciting time; new school clothes, assignment of teachers, changing of the seasons around the corner, etc. Parents of young children are happy to get back to their routine and kids are excited to see their friends again. As my kids get older though, that excitement has started to fade. Not just for our kids but for me. I am absolutely having a battle of the ego right now. I’ll give you both sides. Perhaps you can connect with my ego. Perhaps you can connect with my soul. Or if you’re like me, perhaps you battle between the two.
Ego says, “Don’t grow older. Don’t leave me. Please.” I cry at the thought of Jaden going to high school tomorrow. When I think of the big transitions for Jaden going to high school and Jordyn going to middle school, I want to throw myself on the ground and have a full on fit. How can this be?! How can my baby boy just be a few short years away from leaving me? Tears roll down my cheeks even now as I write this. He is such a wonderful young man – he is a gentleman, a hugger, he freely compliments, has a great sense of humor, a creative thinker, he understands the Law of Attraction, can be quite an Empath, and is a kind soul. Jaden makes me so proud to be his mother. I am so extremely grateful for him in my life. How can I imagine waking up in the mornings and he is in his bed, but that bed is not in my house? Even now when at times he wants a little space and goes to his room he is still just ten steps away from me. What will I do when he is ready to go and live on his own? How is it possible for me to handle that? Why would he leave me? How can he hug my goodnight if he leaves? How will he be here with me to smile at me and say good morning or open doors for me? Yes, I know all those questions are about me. I KNOW that is ego. I just love him so damn much and my ego wants him to always be with me. I selfishly wish he would stay young with me forever. My ego’s heart is absolutely breaking at the thought of it. Ego is crushed. Ego is bawling her eyes out right now begging him to stay. The truth is though; he will always be my baby. A thought bigger than that though is while he’ll always be my baby, he’s never truly been “mine to keep.”
So…with that said, here is how I look at it from the Soul Level…which honestly, is the only thing getting me through this. He’s not MINE. He is another spirit just like mine who is having a human experience. I am fortunate enough to be able to experience life on Earth with him. It is our responsibility as parents to love our children whole heartedly, empower them, believe in them, teach them right from wrong and give them all the tools and information possible to help them live independently. I want my kids to be joyful, brave, confident people who experience life to the fullest and never settle for anything less than they deserve. Kids take their cues from their parents. If he heard what my ego was saying he would be scared to death! I don’t want that for him. I want him to be excited about the life that lies ahead and to do so, I will practice to connect at my soul level so that he can connect to his. My soul is thrilled for him and the exciting years in front of him. Jaden has so many opportunities and choices to make. He now begins to truly create the life HE wants. He is just beginning to make the choices that make his soul happy and set out on his journey. It is wonderful! I get to witness it. That is just amazing to me. That day will come when I will need to let him go…and I will.
After the great Dr. Maya Angelou’s passing, I had the pleasure of coming across an interview that she did with Oprah Winfrey and I want to share it with you. In it, she talked about how love liberates and that to truly love someone is to let them go. She went on to say that one of the greatest gifts her mother gave her was that she liberated her to life. She gave her the freedom to go and explore the world and find her greatness. Through that lesson, Dr. Angelou did the same for her mother when she was dying and she did the same for her son as he left the house. She said “you see love liberates. It doesn’t bind, love says I love you. I love you if you’re in china, I love you if you’re across town, I love you if you’re in harlem, I love you. I would like to be near you, I would like to have your arms around me, I would like to have your voice in my ear but that’s not possible now, I love you so go. Love liberates it doesn’t hold. That’s ego. Love liberates.” That quote speaks volumes to me and I hold it so close to my heart. In fact, I now have this quote printed out and in front of me so I can refer to it whenever ego might start to take over and tears find their way down my face. Ego holds. Love Liberates.
Here is a five minute clip of that interview for you to also enjoy…
Authentically,
Steff
Love yourself MORE
November 22, 2013
In the last two weeks I have seen two heart-wrenching videos I feel compelled to share with you tonight. Watching them is worth your time.
In this first video a few women are asked how they feel about themselves as mothers and then their children are asked how they feel about their moms. The difference is startling.
In the second video, a forensic artist asks a woman that he cannot see to describe herself to him while he sketches it out. Next he asks someone else, who just met that same person person a few minutes prior, to describe the features of that woman and the artist creates a completely different image. All I can say is “Wow.”
WHY?? Why are we so hard on ourselves? We need to love ourselves more! Love ourselves more than we thought possible. Love ourselves like we love our children. Like we love coffee in the morning. Like we love clean sheets on our beds and warm towels after a bath. (I really love clean sheets!) The love we feel on the inside, reflects on the outside and pours onto everyone around us. When we love ourselves the way we love others, more love flows back to us. Every part of us will feel our love and our lives will beautifully unfold in that space of love.
Do you have trouble believing that or loving yourself enough? If so, you just need a new perspective. So if you are reading this and doubting yourself I want you to know that you are amazing. Yes you, my friend. I really mean it. You’re reading this, because we are somehow connected and you are reading this because you need to know. So pay attention please. Here’s your message: Stop picking on yourself! You are exactly as you should be and created in such a way that there is no one like you on earth. There is no one like you so please stop comparing yourself to others. You’re doing a great job in life and you are a treasure. I appreciate you so much. So many other people feel the same. Do you? I sure hope so. See the good. Look at yourself and smile. You are beautiful inside and out.
Authentically,
Steff
Strength Inside Myself
November 21, 2013
I was procrastinating on an important decision recently and one of my friends helped me to make a choice without giving any of her input at all. She simply trusted that I would make the correct decision for myself and continued to regularly ask me what I had decided. She never once tried to sway me one way or the other. Finally, after weeks of checking in with me she asked me again. I told her that I just wasn’t sure what to do. I was concerned I could possibly make the wrong choice so I just wasn’t going to make a choice. This time however, she simply said “What would it look like if I…” and that’s really all she needed to do. I took a moment to look at the possible scenarios and knew that the best thing I could do for myself was what I was avoiding all along. (Interesting how we do that, isn’t it?) So right then, I told her what I was going to do and the next day I acted on that decision. I felt so good that I make that decision. I felt confident about it and my friend lovingly helped me to make the choice on my own.
It was truly a beautiful process, a friend helping me in a time of uncertainty. She never pushed me or got impatient and she never gave up on me. She never even gave her opinion. She simply encouraged me to imagine the possibilities of my choices and trusted me to make the decision. There’s a little more to it than that I guess. She believed in me. She reminded me in a quiet way that I had the strength within myself. She held me in a space of love and trust and it empowered me. It was wonderful and I’m inspired to help others the same way when they are faced with decisions or uncertainty.
What if we approached everyone in our lives that way? What if we wake up in the morning and immediately trust those in our lives to also make the correct decisions? What if we hold them in such a space of love and trust that they feel empowered to be themselves and to do the right things? I hope and pray that when my children are faced with a choice, they will see the possible paths, feel my love and confidence in them and then make a self-reliant decision. So what if we all do that for our children? What if did the same for our family, our friends and our coworkers? What if we even did the same for strangers? Just image the love and empowerment that each of them would feel. We really need to do the same for ourselves too. I need to remind myself over and over that I am perfectly capable of knowing for myself and what the right things to do are. I should believe in myself. I DO believe in myself… and I believe in you, too.
Authentically,
Steff