Love Liberates
August 12, 2014
School starts tomorrow. It can be such an exciting time; new school clothes, assignment of teachers, changing of the seasons around the corner, etc. Parents of young children are happy to get back to their routine and kids are excited to see their friends again. As my kids get older though, that excitement has started to fade. Not just for our kids but for me. I am absolutely having a battle of the ego right now. I’ll give you both sides. Perhaps you can connect with my ego. Perhaps you can connect with my soul. Or if you’re like me, perhaps you battle between the two.
Ego says, “Don’t grow older. Don’t leave me. Please.” I cry at the thought of Jaden going to high school tomorrow. When I think of the big transitions for Jaden going to high school and Jordyn going to middle school, I want to throw myself on the ground and have a full on fit. How can this be?! How can my baby boy just be a few short years away from leaving me? Tears roll down my cheeks even now as I write this. He is such a wonderful young man – he is a gentleman, a hugger, he freely compliments, has a great sense of humor, a creative thinker, he understands the Law of Attraction, can be quite an Empath, and is a kind soul. Jaden makes me so proud to be his mother. I am so extremely grateful for him in my life. How can I imagine waking up in the mornings and he is in his bed, but that bed is not in my house? Even now when at times he wants a little space and goes to his room he is still just ten steps away from me. What will I do when he is ready to go and live on his own? How is it possible for me to handle that? Why would he leave me? How can he hug my goodnight if he leaves? How will he be here with me to smile at me and say good morning or open doors for me? Yes, I know all those questions are about me. I KNOW that is ego. I just love him so damn much and my ego wants him to always be with me. I selfishly wish he would stay young with me forever. My ego’s heart is absolutely breaking at the thought of it. Ego is crushed. Ego is bawling her eyes out right now begging him to stay. The truth is though; he will always be my baby. A thought bigger than that though is while he’ll always be my baby, he’s never truly been “mine to keep.”
So…with that said, here is how I look at it from the Soul Level…which honestly, is the only thing getting me through this. He’s not MINE. He is another spirit just like mine who is having a human experience. I am fortunate enough to be able to experience life on Earth with him. It is our responsibility as parents to love our children whole heartedly, empower them, believe in them, teach them right from wrong and give them all the tools and information possible to help them live independently. I want my kids to be joyful, brave, confident people who experience life to the fullest and never settle for anything less than they deserve. Kids take their cues from their parents. If he heard what my ego was saying he would be scared to death! I don’t want that for him. I want him to be excited about the life that lies ahead and to do so, I will practice to connect at my soul level so that he can connect to his. My soul is thrilled for him and the exciting years in front of him. Jaden has so many opportunities and choices to make. He now begins to truly create the life HE wants. He is just beginning to make the choices that make his soul happy and set out on his journey. It is wonderful! I get to witness it. That is just amazing to me. That day will come when I will need to let him go…and I will.
After the great Dr. Maya Angelou’s passing, I had the pleasure of coming across an interview that she did with Oprah Winfrey and I want to share it with you. In it, she talked about how love liberates and that to truly love someone is to let them go. She went on to say that one of the greatest gifts her mother gave her was that she liberated her to life. She gave her the freedom to go and explore the world and find her greatness. Through that lesson, Dr. Angelou did the same for her mother when she was dying and she did the same for her son as he left the house. She said “you see love liberates. It doesn’t bind, love says I love you. I love you if you’re in china, I love you if you’re across town, I love you if you’re in harlem, I love you. I would like to be near you, I would like to have your arms around me, I would like to have your voice in my ear but that’s not possible now, I love you so go. Love liberates it doesn’t hold. That’s ego. Love liberates.” That quote speaks volumes to me and I hold it so close to my heart. In fact, I now have this quote printed out and in front of me so I can refer to it whenever ego might start to take over and tears find their way down my face. Ego holds. Love Liberates.
Here is a five minute clip of that interview for you to also enjoy…
Authentically,
Steff
I Am Enough
March 11, 2014
Hello friends! It has been way to long since I wrote a post here and you’re about to learn why. Today I have a story to share with you…
A few years ago my son started playing competitive soccer and was given the chance to play goalie. He was aggressive back there, eager to stop the ball and seemed to have to knack to anticipate the ball. He was such a joy to watch. We were told that when he got to high school, he could be the varsity goalie on the high school team and could earn college scholarships if he kept at it. While I’m very proud of him, I’m not telling you this story to brag. What comes next, is more important. You see, we shared this positive information with our son. We thought it would motivate and inspire him to keep trying his best. What we didn’t realize is that basically it paralyzed him. We didn’t get it – AT ALL. Why would this amazing news of his abilities hinder his performance? He virtually stopped trying all together. Sure he went to the games, but he really wasn’t there and barely gave an effort from what it looked on the outside. I had a hunch to why, but didn’t get it confirmed until recently.
It was this Authentically Steff blog, that helped me to sort it all out. Weird, right? When I first created Authentically Steff and started writing, I loved it! I felt like I was really putting myself out there and had people letting me know that my posts meant something to them as well. I heard things like “This is the exact thing I needed to read today” or “Thank you so much for sharing this with me. It made a big difference.” One would THINK that comments like that would energize me and motivate me to keep writing. I let myself get in my head about it instead. I worried that what if my next post wasn’t as good as the last or it wouldn’t matter to someone. In truth though, I wasn’t being authentic at all. Instead of just keeping on with the journey of finding myself, I caved in to the pressure of being good enough for what others thought instead of being good enough with myself. It seemed easier to not write at all than to try and to fail. Then to put myself out there and disappoint. When I realized what I was doing, I was able to make the connection to my son’s experience with soccer.
It is all so crazy really. We fail over and over in order to succeed. The most important thing is to keep trying and never give up…especially if it’s something important to you. What good am I doing by not writing at all? None! I am so thankful I came to that conclusion. Not only was I able to talk to my son about it, but also able to start writing again. You might not like everything I post and that’s okay. That’s what makes me, ME and what makes you, YOU. I can write because I WANT to and because it feels great! I will not let the knots in my mind, bind me any longer. When it feels right, I’ll write. When I would rather have a glass of wine with you on the deck, that sounds good too. I’m enough just the way I am.
I want to share something with you I found on Pinterest today that really hit home. The Knots Prayer.
A beautiful reminder for us all. We ARE enough.
Authentically,
Steff
Love yourself MORE
November 22, 2013
In the last two weeks I have seen two heart-wrenching videos I feel compelled to share with you tonight. Watching them is worth your time.
In this first video a few women are asked how they feel about themselves as mothers and then their children are asked how they feel about their moms. The difference is startling.
In the second video, a forensic artist asks a woman that he cannot see to describe herself to him while he sketches it out. Next he asks someone else, who just met that same person person a few minutes prior, to describe the features of that woman and the artist creates a completely different image. All I can say is “Wow.”
WHY?? Why are we so hard on ourselves? We need to love ourselves more! Love ourselves more than we thought possible. Love ourselves like we love our children. Like we love coffee in the morning. Like we love clean sheets on our beds and warm towels after a bath. (I really love clean sheets!) The love we feel on the inside, reflects on the outside and pours onto everyone around us. When we love ourselves the way we love others, more love flows back to us. Every part of us will feel our love and our lives will beautifully unfold in that space of love.
Do you have trouble believing that or loving yourself enough? If so, you just need a new perspective. So if you are reading this and doubting yourself I want you to know that you are amazing. Yes you, my friend. I really mean it. You’re reading this, because we are somehow connected and you are reading this because you need to know. So pay attention please. Here’s your message: Stop picking on yourself! You are exactly as you should be and created in such a way that there is no one like you on earth. There is no one like you so please stop comparing yourself to others. You’re doing a great job in life and you are a treasure. I appreciate you so much. So many other people feel the same. Do you? I sure hope so. See the good. Look at yourself and smile. You are beautiful inside and out.
Authentically,
Steff
