Hello friends! It has been way to long since I wrote a post here and you’re about to learn why. Today I have a story to share with you…
A few years ago my son started playing competitive soccer and was given the chance to play goalie. He was aggressive back there, eager to stop the ball and seemed to have to knack to anticipate the ball. He was such a joy to watch. We were told that when he got to high school, he could be the varsity goalie on the high school team and could earn college scholarships if he kept at it. While I’m very proud of him, I’m not telling you this story to brag. What comes next, is more important. You see, we shared this positive information with our son. We thought it would motivate and inspire him to keep trying his best. What we didn’t realize is that basically it paralyzed him. We didn’t get it – AT ALL. Why would this amazing news of his abilities hinder his performance? He virtually stopped trying all together. Sure he went to the games, but he really wasn’t there and barely gave an effort from what it looked on the outside. I had a hunch to why, but didn’t get it confirmed until recently.
It was this Authentically Steff blog, that helped me to sort it all out. Weird, right? When I first created Authentically Steff and started writing, I loved it! I felt like I was really putting myself out there and had people letting me know that my posts meant something to them as well. I heard things like “This is the exact thing I needed to read today” or “Thank you so much for sharing this with me. It made a big difference.” One would THINK that comments like that would energize me and motivate me to keep writing. I let myself get in my head about it instead. I worried that what if my next post wasn’t as good as the last or it wouldn’t matter to someone. In truth though, I wasn’t being authentic at all. Instead of just keeping on with the journey of finding myself, I caved in to the pressure of being good enough for what others thought instead of being good enough with myself. It seemed easier to not write at all than to try and to fail. Then to put myself out there and disappoint. When I realized what I was doing, I was able to make the connection to my son’s experience with soccer.
It is all so crazy really. We fail over and over in order to succeed. The most important thing is to keep trying and never give up…especially if it’s something important to you. What good am I doing by not writing at all? None! I am so thankful I came to that conclusion. Not only was I able to talk to my son about it, but also able to start writing again. You might not like everything I post and that’s okay. That’s what makes me, ME and what makes you, YOU. I can write because I WANT to and because it feels great! I will not let the knots in my mind, bind me any longer. When it feels right, I’ll write. When I would rather have a glass of wine with you on the deck, that sounds good too. I’m enough just the way I am.
I want to share something with you I found on Pinterest today that really hit home. The Knots Prayer.
A beautiful reminder for us all. We ARE enough.