Yep the dreaded internal dialog going on between me and myself. That battle inside my brain second guessing decisions and questioning my worth from time to time. I saw a picture last night and immediately started critiquing my appearance. I feel compelled to write about it. IT happens. Especially when for so many years we are told we should behave a certain way, look a certain way, do what others do, etc. How do we measure our self worth? We look at others and compare ourselves. The times we aren’t doing that, we listen to that little voice inside that says, “You’re not good enough/You’re not qualified for the promotion/You’re not pretty enough/etc.” That is so wrong I know, but I still catch myself doing it . I’m SURE you don’t do that though…(wink, wink). Well, I do and I’m not afraid to admit it either. I figure the more we talk about it with each other, the less of a problem it will be. Perhaps it will help us to love and support each other knowing that we are all fighting some sort of a battle with ourselves.
Last night when I became aware of my negative self talk, I acknowledged it and let it go. The negativity was not me, just my ego and I didn’t have to listen. I acknowledged my ego and dismissed it as false. I am happy with who I am so why should I let that little voice make me doubt myself. I am perfect the way I am…totally imperfect.
As we show up in life as our true selves, we are allowing everyone else to do the same. So as hard as it might be, it’s time to break those patterns of comparing ourselves to others, or looking at someone and putting them down (out loud OR in your brain) for not living up to certain standards. We need to celebrate our uniqueness and be grateful for each other. The only person we need to be better than is the person we were yesterday. I saw something like that on Pinterest. Pretty good, right?? See pin here.
For darned sure, we need to be kind to others, but we also need to be kind to ourselves. If we aren’t nice to ourselves, who can we expect to? I have to continually remind myself that part of embracing being “Authentically Steff” is learning to love myself for exactly who I am. For instance,my weight. I want to be healthy and strong. So yes, I have some goals for myself that I’d like to achieve, but I’m also enjoying my body for right where it is now. I don’t typically even look at the scale anymore because that number doesn’t mean anything to me. As long as I am happy, I feel good, I’m taking care of myself and I have the energy and strength to live the life that I want to live, then that’s all that matters. The scale can’t measure any of that.
I have made PLENTY of mistakes in my life (and I will make more). I can’t change any of them. Actually, the true “Steff” is learning to embrace them. Those mistakes, as dreadful as they might have been at the time, have helped me become who I am now. This kind of goes along the same lines as not crying over spilled milk. We shouldn’t cry about our mistakes. Mistakes mean we are trying. So pick up the pieces when possible, learn from the mistakes, be proud for trying and keep going.
Really all this is about is ego any way. Ego is nothing more than forgetting that we are all connected to each other and from the same source. We are all equal. There is no reason to doubt ourselves or compare ourselves to other.We are no worse or no better than anyone else. We all have the same potential and have within in us the same light. We are all equally powerful, equally wonderful and yet beautifully unique. How cool is that?! I think it is pretty freaking amazing.